More related fun

Twenty years ago I was at Poly. One of my mates was on a computing course and doing well. He had a mysterious interest in poo. Didn't want to do things with it, but all his favourite jokes and stories seemed to be poo related. He even used to keep us amused with a beautifully rendered cartoon strip about the adventures of "Super Sid the Shuffling Shit".
The farmhouse we all lived in had an outside loo and he was overjoyed when he discovered that you could lift up a paving slab and watch the freshly flushed turds hurrying past.
As a first year project he had to write a program that made one of those Wordsearch puzzles. Needless to say he had a version of it with more words for shit and shitting buried in it than I'd ever seen before.
He now works for Microsoft.

Poo Poo Padoo

When in University Halls of residence my mate Rob came up and drank himself blind on vodka. I left him at 4 in the morning being sick in my sink. Waking up at 9 I found him gone and headed over to my friends corridor to go to town. There on the floor ourside my friends corridor was the largest pile of slushy runny man crap it's ever been my misfortune to wintess....my initial thought was 'Jesus I hope that wasn't Rob'. Everybody was very cross about this faecal intrusion so I kept my concerns to myself.

Later that evening I questioned Robert regarding said turd which he vehemently denied...but soon he began to giggle and confessed 'yes boss that was me, I couldn't find the bog so I crapped on the floor wiped my arse on my sock and phoned a taxi'.

The strange thing is I felt enormously proud of him. Eventually the mound was removed leaving only a brown stain and a vaguely vomitous stench, somebody left a note saying. 'For God's sake don't stand here some wanker shit on the floor, we hate whoever did it but love whoever cleaned it up'.

Rob I love you for this.

I used to work for a large insurance firm.....

Who were relocating to another part of the country and consequently making lots of people redundant. This not being a popular act among the staff had spawned a variety of acts of defiance over the previous week or two mostly centred around the ladies toilets on the 3rd floor, flooding them, covering them (literally) with ketchup, it all appeared to have died down though.

Cue friday afternoon, I walk into the first (smaller) cubicle of a two cubicle loo. Sit down and commence relieving myself. As I sit down I hear a friend walk in, enter the cubicle, and then (loudly) "OH SHIT!".

"What?! Are you alright?"

"No" she says, "I mean literally, and I'm wearing sandals"

I almost vomited. Transpires someone had left a large steaming heap directly in front of the door. Being as the cubicle was 5ft long was NO chance of an accident.

She had to wash her feet and have her shoes (and the toilet cubicle and sink she washed in) disinfected by the cleaner.

Funnily enough they came down pretty hard on the acts of protest after that.